Tuesday, January 19, 2010

We're now #4 and some thoughts on the Earthquake

There is a family who just received their referral after 8 months and a week waiting. Previously it has been 9-11 months wait time for infant girls. We are now 4th on the known list for a referral for a girl. While there are surely some families we are unaware of, it seems realistic that our wait time will be under 9 months and that is exciting. I am trying to get as much done in many different areas of my life as possible during these last months of waiting. My heart wants the wait to be over, but the rest of me knows I have plenty to keep me busy in the mean time.

My heart has been very tender this week with the news of the Haiti earthquake and all that has ensued. I have personal friends who will be leaving within a week to serve there and a part of me wants to join them. The other part of me would rather do anything but go. It has been exactly 16 years since my house was destroyed in the Northridge earthquake and my life was turned upside down in a matter of seconds. By God's grace in having wonderful American engineering our house did not collapse but was close. So there is a part of what happened in Haiti that hits so close to home and at the same time does not even compare to the devastation of what is happening there. Even though I had to move overnight, my family was safe and we were able to move into our grandparents home in Nevada where we received new clothes and were cared for. It was still traumatic to escape my destroyed home and never see it again, to not get to say good-bye to all my friends and to change schools mid year in middle school. Yet my faith in the Lord Jesus-as the unshakeable one-who promised to use this for Good in my life as I trusted him was the greatest gift of all. He was my anchor of hope in the midst of a great shaking. My hope and prayer for the people of Haiti is that they will find that same hope and reality in God that I experienced. Though there suffering is so much greater than mine ever was, the Hope of God's Word and presence is just as real and powerful for them as it was for me.

To this day I hate earthquakes. Each time I have experienced one since the "big one", I think they are about to give me a heart attack. They terrify me and remind me how fast life can change--how quickly everything can be turned upside down. Yet I sing everyday, "Even though the mountains are shaken, even though they may fall in the sea, my heart will not fear. I will not be afraid, for the Lord my God is with me." This is the greater truth that I know will enable me to face whatever shakings still lie ahead of me. This is is the gut wrenching cry I have in my heart for the people of Haiti. This is the only refuge that will endure.